Bertram Gilfoyle is a Senior Security Architect and a main character in HBO's Silicon Valley.
Gilfoyle lives and works in the Hacker Hostel with Richard, Big Head, and Dinesh. He is pompous and purports to be good at system architecture, networking, and security. Gilfoyle often finds himself sparring with Dinesh about things such as their work efficiency, Dinesh's Pakistani ethnicity, Gilfoyle's religion along with other negligible matters. Often Gilfoyle triumphs in these arguments or reaches an impasse with Dinesh. He is a self-described LaVeyan Satanist, and bears an upside-down cross tattoo on his right arm. His persona is an apathetic badass programmer that has libertarian tendencies. To say he is odd is an understatement.
Gilfoyle is originally from Canada and was an illegal immigrant until Articles of Incorporation, in which he gained a visa after being put under pressure by Dinesh.
Gilfoyle holds Degrees from McGill university and MIT , unkown subject ( Probably Computer Engineering or Electrical engineering due to his insane hardware capabilities ) . ( source : Pied Piper site . )
Gilfoyle is also an ex-drummer And Played in many core bands in Toronto .
Gilfoyle has a tectonic relationship with his girlfriend named Tara, a fellow member of the LaVeyan Satanists. His relationship with his mother is negative and lacks trust. His mother has betrayed him in the past as evidenced when Gilfoyle refers to her as a "backstabbing bitch".
- "What do I do? System Architecture. Networking and Security. No one in this house can touch me on that. But does anyone appreciate that? While you were busy minoring in gender studies and singing acapella at Sarah Lawrence, I was getting root access to NSA servers. I was a click away from starting a second Iranian revolution. I prevent cross site scripting, I monitor for DDoS attacks, emergency database rollbacks, and faulty transaction handlings. The internet, heard of it? Transfers half a petabyte of data a minute, do you have any idea how that happens? All of those YouPorn ones and zeros streaming directly to your shitty little smart phone day after day. Every dipshit who shits his pants if he can't get the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under 12 seconds. It's not magic, it's talent and sweat. People like me ensuring your packets get delivered unsniffed. So what do I do? I make sure that one bad config on one key component doesn't bankrupt the entire fucking company. That's what the fuck I do."
- ― in the Cap Table
- "Your 'borders' are merely a construct. I prefer to think of myself as a citizen of the world."
- ―in Articles of Incorporation
- "I just masturbated to heighten my focus. I have a 15-minute refractory period."
- ―in Signalling Risk
- "Every day feels like I've died and gone to Hell."
- ―in Optimal Tip-to-Tip Efficiency
- "You were worried sick about the wrath of a bloated and inept bureaucracy but feel totally comfortable having crossed a spiteful and vindictive megalomaniac with unlimited funds."
- ―in Intellectual Property